Forgiveness, Repair and Becoming a Single Mom

Here's my book

Learning To Live Like You’re Not Dying

I’ve spent the majority of my life thinking I would die. My entire life, I thought I had a weak immune system. I got these prolonged flus that lasted days. On top of that, when I was in college I was rear-ended by a semi and broke my neck and had a subdermal hematoma (blood clot) on my brain stem. I remember having a cvs episode in a halo on the neurological floor. My disease had yet to be diagnosed. They thought I was having a traumatic brain reaction. With my neck broken, they couldn’t bring themselves to tell me that my MRI showed that I would never have children. Well, I did have a child. Still, I did not know I had a disease and not a weak immune system. Until four years ago this last August. I’ve learned to live with this syndrome and to abate the majority of my symptoms. I called this journey my kobayashi maru or my no-win scenario. That is a Star Trek reference if you have never seen an episode. Well, I know how to live with this disease. I’m still chronically ill, but I know how to manage it. It’s another issue that I now face. I’m now a single mother. A single mother who is chronically ill. That means I have to figure out how to support and care and do this while managing my symptoms. This is my current no-win scenario. Remember, a few years ago I pondered disability. I did this while I was married. This brings me to faith. That is something I do have. I have faith that I will overcome this current situation. I’ll do it while managing my cvs. God Bless, Tammy

Patsy Clark's

Here's a spooky favorite. Message me at tammymcspadden@gmail.com if you would like a signed print.

Going To The Emergency Room Dressed As An Inmate

On my way out I heard a man say, "Her shirt says State Inmate on it." I figured he was referencing me, so I turned around. I saw he was standing outside an room at the e.r. I was at. He looked like a guard. My guess is he was guarding an actual inmate. I was simply in an inmate get up. I was supposed to have gone dressed up to a Halloween party. I missed it though. I ended up having a cvs episode and going to the emergency room.

https://youtu.be/9ovBfCnp-Dc

My doctor laughed about my handcuffs before he gave the order to the nurse to insert an Iv. Into me and give me intravenous Zofran and Benadryl.

Sure, I missed a really awesome party. Sure, I missed going dressed up. However, my emergency room visit was so wonderful.

I walked right in and told them I have cvs. They handed me a puke bag and got me into a bed right away.

In my experience, hospital beds are super comfy at first. They don't start getting uncomfortable until you're feeling better. That way you'll want to leave. I swear there's a science to it.

I remember earlier that day thinking I was coming down with an episode. I prayed that I wouldn't get one. It was then I heard a voice say, "You never know who you will meet when you go there."

And I did meet someone. I met an amazing nurse who had his own journey to wellness. Thank you so much for helping me.

To this day, I still go to the hospital when I start having an episode. However, I only have an episode occasionally. I am so grateful for this.

Happy Halloween :)